Tickled Pink Brides - Orlando, Florida's Premier Wedding Planner

Your (Not So) Average Wedding Day

How long will it take to plan your wedding?  How much will you spend? 
For the newly engaged and never married, questions like these can be important to see how your big day matches up to "Average Jane's".  One of the questions I get asked the most is for the average cost of planning a wedding.  I've written about the total average cost of a U.S. wedding, which was estimated to be $28,800 in 2007.  Now we'll break it down a little more. Here's the rundown, along with some other "average" stats:

The Wedding Expenses
Ceremony: $2,557                                         
Favors/Gifts: $1,122
Wedding rings: $2,067
Invitations/Stationary: $848
Limo or car rental: $410
Reception: $14,179
Reception music: $953
Photography/videography: $2570
Rehearsal dinner: $1153
Flowers:  $2048
Wedding gown:  $1564
Wedding Cake: $543
Wedding Planner: $3262
Hair and Makeup: $190
Honeymoon: $3825

More fun facts:

• Average age of first-time bride: 27
• Average age of her groom: 29
• 250 hours spent planning the average wedding--that's 8 per week in the average engagement
• It takes trying on 21 dresses before choosing "the one"
• 15% of weddings get called off!
• 1 in 5 women stress about fitting into their wedding dress
• Most want to lose 10-20 pounds before the big day
• Average value of all your wedding gifts: $14,000
• Average cost of attending a wedding: $500
• What it takes to be a bridesmaid: $1400 
• Number of bridesmaids in the wedding, on average: 5

Average Cost of a U.S. Wedding

As average salaries have continually decreased over the past few years, the average cost of a wedding has continued to rise!  In 2007, weddings will cost an average of $28,800.  By 2012, that number will jump to $31,010.  While researching the price of a U.S. wedding, I found many variations across the country, but the trend to spend more on weddings was the same.  We'll see how much longer this trend persists, as more brides become inclined to do-it-themselves with the help of magazines, media, and websites.  We're now able to find instructions on how to make a centerpiece or bouquet, print invitations from home or order online, purchase a gently worn wedding gown, and replace a DJ with an iPod.    Nonetheless, here are some stats on the "average wedding" throughout America:

    Average cost of a US wedding: $28,800 (est. for 2007)   
    Average number of guests: 167
    Destination weddings: 11%
    Percentage of weddings paid for by brides' parents: 57%   

    Details:

    Engagement ring: $5570
    Photography/videography: $2570
    Band:  $3197
    DJ: $804   
    Rehearsal dinner: $1153
    Flowers:  $2048
    Wedding gown:  $1564
    Chapel or Site Fee: $435
    Officiant: $263
    Wedding Cake: $543
    Wedding Planner: $3262 (but only 17% of brides will use one)
    Hair and Makeup: $190
    Attendants Gifts: $605
    Bar/Bartender: $2938
    Honeymoon: $3825

The average age of brides and grooms has grown higher in the last decade, with today's newlyweds aged 27-29 years old.  This age group claims a yearly salary of $51,900 (that seems high?). 

About.com featured an article on Planning an Affordable Wedding.  They say to choose the most important, lasting costs and make the most of them.  Photography ranks highest among what lasts, so do your research on professional photographers, and spend a little more in this category.  When considering the $27,000 average wedding, they raise this idea:  One could cut back and spend only $13,000, putting the saved $14,000 in a savings account that yields 10% per year.  Forty years later, you'd be looking at $634,000 in the bank!  Would you trade a more expensive wedding for $634K in the long-run?

Overall, I recommend you have the wedding that you can afford, whether that be on your dime or someone else's.  Use common sense; don't go wildly into debt!  Make it special by adding unique touches that are personal to you as a couple.  That way, no matter how much you do (or don't) spend, you will still have tons of great memories that reflect your style and personality.  If necessary, choose 2-3 really important components that you want to spend money on.  Splurge on those things, and save on the things that don't matter as much to you.  Have fun with it, make it personal, and celebrate!    

Talking Finances

There comes a time when every couple, either before or after the wedding, will have to discuss personal finances.  These things can't be kept secret forever, and the topic often raises both heated discussions and, unfortunately, arguments.  Why not have this talk sooner than later?   What happens when you are ready to buy a house, have a child, or even simply buy groceries?  Who will be responsible for the main household income, or will you contribute equally?  Will you share just one account or keep your banking separate?  Who pays the bills each month?  These questions are better dealt with up front, openly and honestly, so that you go into marriage understanding each other's spending and saving habits, with no surprises in the near future.

Psychology Today published an article about money stating that "commonly, a hoarder marries a spender".  If this is true, we need to start talking to each other now about our personal habits and goals before our differences drive us apart. It seems there is no right or wrong way to handle your new family's finances.  Here are some thoughts you can take or leave on the subject by various "experts" on finances for couples.  Do what makes you both comfortable, just make sure you do something!

DaveRamsey.com wrote about the importance of communicating with your spouse (or soon-to-be spouse) about money.  He says you can't have a great relationship until you can communicate and agree about money-matters.  Seeing that in most relationships, one person is good at numbers while the other is a "free spirit", problems arise when the two neglect the input of each other in financial dealings.  Dave also says that since marriage is a partnership, separating finances and splitting bills is a bad idea.  Work on budgets together, and give feedback and encouragement.

Oprah had a show about relationships affected by money.  One couple was facing relationship problems after cutting two salaries down to one when they became pregnant.  Financial expert David Bach recommended that they write down their values and goals so that they could work to achieve them together.  He also suggested that regardless of the lower income they were living on, portions of each paycheck should still be going to savings/retirement funds.  A small emergency savings fund was also recommended for "just in case".

Another Oprah moment--check out Dr. Phil's Five Financial Strategies for Marriage.

Rightonthemoney.com has 4 easy steps for figuring out your finances together.  Decide whether to have joint or separate accounts; Figure out who pays for what; Allow small indulgences but discuss big ticket buys; Keep money-matters private--don't discuss in front of others.

The same website also says to talk about money matters well before engagement, putting your finances and expectations on paper before you get married.  They explain prenups and why you should consider one.  There is a common conception that prenups mean you don't trust each other or that you are "planning for divorce".  Not always true--Prenups also cover how to deal with debt, assets, property, and stocks in the case of death (or divorce).  Prenups can also be ammended at any time.  If you feel like a prenup is right for you, speak with a lawyer and be prepared to pay a few thousand for the attourney fees.

Whichever way you decide to handle your new family's finances, be sure that you are on the same page and that you are making conversations, not arguments.  We don't all have the exact same values and goals, so respect each other's and find ways to compromise and work together toward them.  Even if only one of you is great with numbers, you should both be involved in money decisions that affect your family unit.  Get involved, have an opinion and show respect!

Wedding Budgets: Where to Spend and Save

Any wedding planner will tell you that before taking steps to plan your wedding, it's important to set a budget.  In order to get started, you'll first need to sit down with whomever is contributing financially to the event, and check out your own accounts if you are paying for some or all of the wedding yourself.  Budget planning can be a stressful first step, but don't let it burst your bubble.  The budget plan can be quite painless if you get the facts, check out your accounts, and get creative if you need to.  Simultaneously with planning out the financial aspects, make a list with your fiance of the 3-4 things that are most important to you for the wedding.  That list will be the things that you should definitely splurge on.  On the other hand, consider parts of weddings you've been to that you can't even remember or didn't care about in the first place.  Those are the places where you should save.  Most people's lists will be different, and that's ok!  That's what makes each couples wedding unique.

The following is a list of wedding details and some ideas on splurging and saving:

    Photography/Videography:  Your wedding photos will (hopefully) last a lifetime.  The big day that you have worked so hard to create should be captured in time with your photos and will surely be shared with loved ones for years to come.  There are multiple ways to capture the moment, so be sure to do your research on photographers in your area, or be more creative with less expensive photo stations set up at the ceremony/reception.  Photography pricing can range anywhere from a few hundred to thousands of dollars.  Most photographers offer different packages and it's usually possible to pay for a master copy of the pictures and develop them yourself rather than pay for the photographer's album.  Many couples are also choosing to do engagement photos with a professional photographer.  If you like to try something unique with your bride- or groom-to-be, set up a more informal photo shoot  before or soon after the wedding in a funky, urban location or maybe outdoors in a rural area.  Brides can purchase an inexpensive, white dress for the photo shoot, and you''ll only be paying the photographer for 1-3 hours rather than a full day of wedding photography.  I will say that working with recent brides, I have yet to hear someone say they wish they would have spent less or skimped on photos.

     Venue:  The locations that you choose for your ceremony and reception lay the scene for the style of wedding you'd like.  Once you've found your wedding style, start contacting wedding venues that may fit the look you're after.  It's usually possible to quickly get pricing on venues by calling or e-mailing the wedding coordinator at each location.  While larger hotels are typically pricier that other venues, you are paying for the service, set up, and rental of the facilities and their tables, chairs, linens, and staff.  You'll get a better rate, however, if you choose a Friday, Sunday, or daytime wedding rather than a Saturday night.  Food may be more expensive at a hotel or country club that provides the food and alcohol, while banquet halls and city-owned venues will often allow you to bring in outside caterers or alcohol that you provide.  To me, venue ranks high on my list of what's important.  I love the idea of tying in the location with your wedding style.  Get creative with this--consider outdoor amphitheatres, renovated barns, museums, or historic hotels. 

     Cake:  This is a place that you can definitely save.  Think back to the weddings you've attended.  Do you even remember the cake?  Check out the cakes your local grocer can make, or ask a cake decorator for the price of cupcakes.  Cut a small cake at the wedding, and set out a dessert tray with offerings like mini eclairs, truffles, and key lime tarts.  It's important to serve dessert at the wedding, but there are plenty of ways around paying over $1000 for the cake.

      Invitations:  Here's another place you can save.  Invitation prices can cost thousands, or you can print your own at home for a hundred.  The price of stamps is rising, and invitations already cost more than regular envelopes because of the weight and shape.  FineStationary.com offers a wide selection of chic choices that you customize online, so you can keep the cost down and avoid doing all the work yourself.  If you love the work of a certain invitation designer, ask them for ways to scale down the cost, like using less expensive paper, or choosing invitations that require less handmade details.

     Gown:  You probably already have a vision of wedding day attire, and the gown is important, as you want to look and feel your best on this special day.  Gowns can be purchased at a $99 sale, or you can spend $4,000+ designing a custom look.  The wedding gown sets the tone for the rest of the event, and the bride is in the center of the spotlight for the entire wedding day and night.  Regardless of what you spend, make a point to find a gown that makes you feel absolutely gorgeous.  There should be no regrets in your gown choice! 

Most wedding websites offer budget planning tools and checklists, and most are very thorough and detailed.   Try these if you need help getting started!

http://www.brides.com/planning/budget

http://www.elegala.com/budget.html