I came across this Today Show article about 6 surprising marriage myths and thought I'd share it. For those of you on the road to marriage, these issues will become important as you grow together and begin your family. For those of you already married, you'll recognize these issues and have probably already dealt with them. Here are the "myths" and my take on them:
1. Your spouse is your best friend. They say: You may have an amazing friendship with your spouse, but expecting a best friend sets you up for disappointment. This is someone to get through life with, not just a friend. I say: Why can't the person you go through life's ups and downs with be your very best friend? Don't you consider your girlfriend who goes through it all with you a best friend? I think your spouse can most definitely be your best friend, whether before marriage or developing later.
2. Don't go to bed angry. They say: Table things until tomorrow if need be, and it's not a big deal if one of you sleeps on the couch. I say: Get it over with now! The sooner you resolve the issue, the better you'll both feel about it. If you wait until tomorrow, chances are you'll be more angry or resentful, or you will wait long enough for the problem to blow up again, probably bigger next time.
3. Don't worry if you don't have sex. They say: You'll be tired, it won't always be romantic, and there will be times you just don't feel like it. That's ok. People in good marriages do make love though, and you need to find a balance that works for both of you. I say: I agree with this one. Don't expect to have sex every night, but make time for each other and find that balance.
4. Babies bring you closer. They say: Make sure you still nurture your marriage as you nurture your children. Make time for each other, go on dates, and spend a little time daily talking about things other than baby. I say: I agree again! So many marriages fall apart after having children, sometimes because the children became much more important than the marriage. Again, find balance and realize that you both have needs outside of being just a mommy or daddy.
5. Don't fight in front of the kids. They say: Be civil with each other, but fighting fair shows kids how to disagree respectfully. This is part of showing children how to interact with other people. Learn to fight civilly, and you'll probably even fight less. I say: As long as disagreements are civil and don't involve shouting or hurtful language, a slight argument here and there is ok in front of the kids. Learn to speak respectfully to each other even in times of disagreement and your kids will learn a lesson too. They'll also grow up to respect you both more if they know you've gotten through hurdles as a team.
6. Don't take your spouse for granted. They say: You should be able to lean on and rely on your spouse, but don't take them for granted. Rely on them, but show them you appreciate being able to. I say: This one isn't a myth! Of course you shouldn't take your spouse or anyone you care about for granted. Show appreciation for their commitment to you and make sure you hold up your end of the bargain by being there to support them as well.